Cloud, God of the Chocobos!
by LadyTilBug
Summary: Cloud and his adventures in soldier....with chocobos


Okay…this was something I started over the summer……its weird…it is …I admit it….but I promised i would write it…so here it is….

Disclaimer….i don't own……if I did…Zack…..with rubber ducks….in bubble bath….

Cloud, God of the Chocobos

The sun was hot, beating down mercilessly on any being foolish enough to be caught under it. The ground was parched, cracking under the pressure of footsteps. The air was even dry, burning the throat with each inhale. Some dried up dead weeds went flying by coiling in the sharp heated wind.

God Cloud hated training missions.

The General always choose the most secluded and harsh environments that always ended up reminding Cloud of death. He supposed that was the point. Or maybe this was just the kind of environment the General enjoyed. Cloud shuddered. How anyone could enjoy this environment was beyond him. Cloud glanced around. Sand every where. Not a living soul in sight. He sighed. This sucked.

Cloud, being the youngest member if the squad, was at the bottom of the totem poll. His short stature didn't help much either. And being at the bottom of the totem poll meant you always got the crappy positions, the positions that no one else wanted. Such as watch the base, watch the supplies, was the generals car, etc. so here he was, standing in the middle of what appeared to be a desert, standing before nothing but sand, save for the lone shack that stood behind him. The squad's new headquarters.

Cloud let out another sigh. Why was he even here? He turned to look at the 'headquarters'. It was nothing more then a shanty. It was a small wood planked building, no bigger then an out house. Could have been one too for all Cloud knew. It was his job to stand guard not to investigate. The walls of the building were covered with large hole, planks hanging desperately off rusted nails. Who the hell would want an out house? The only saving grace was the well behind the outhouse.

Cloud turned his head back towards the desert. It was still, the breeze having already carried away all of the dead brush. Cloud frowned. He was going to kill Zack. Usually the SOLDIER would help him out, usually by staying behind and keeping him company. But not today, today the SOLDIER had run off after Sephiroth. The traitor. Cloud let out yet another sigh before sitting himself down onto the sand.

Cloud tilted his head eyeing the horizon. Maybe if he stared at it long enough a mirage of Tifa would appear bringing him lemonade and a bat to beat Zack with. He squinted his eyes focusing all his will on the horizon.

"Squeak."

Cloud blinked. Well, at least he was hearing things; maybe next he would hear Tifa's voice. Maybe she would tell him where to find a bat to beat Zack with. Cloud smiled.

"Squeak, squeak."

Cloud's smile slipped back into a frown.

"Squeak, squeak, squeak."

It sounded like it was coming from behind him. Cloud quickly turned looking over his shoulder.

"Zack?" he called out.

"Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak!"

There was no one behind him.

"I must be imagining things." Cloud muttered.

He lowered his eyes to the sand and jumped. There gathered around behind him were at least twenty baby chocobos.

"What the-"

Cloud leaned closer to the gathered gaggle. The chocobos in response scrambled forward.

"Ah!" Cloud yelled startled as he was covered in baby yellow chocobos. Five on each leg one on each shoulder, the rest scattered about. The one on his head leaned its face down to look him in the eye.

"Squeak." It asked questioningly.

"Um."

Cloud had never had chocobos come at him this way; then again Cloud hadn't been around that many chocobos before in his life.

"Squeak." The chocobo said again.

Cloud sighed, his shoulders drooping. Great, now he was stuck in the middle of the desert guarding an out house covered in conversational poultry. God he hoped Zack didn't bring a camera.

"SQUEEEEEKKKK!!!!" the chocobo in his face yelled.

Cloud jumped dislodging all the chocobos from his body. They let out a chorus of peeps as they fell to the ground. The loud chocobo from his head immediately ran back up his leg to stare up at him.

"SSSSSSSSQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!"

Cloud slammed his hands over his ears. Good God the bird was annoying.

"WHAT!" Cloud yelled back at the offending bird.

The chocobo fell back, clearly startled by Clouds outburst. The bird shook itself before returning to its previous perch atop Cloud.

Cloud sighed. He had just yelled at a bird. Great. He rubbed his hands over his face.

"God you're annoying." He muttered addressing the chocobo.

It gave a small squeak, as if agreeing with his statement. Cloud lowered his hands and eyes the bird wearily. His eyes widened as he says the bird do the same.

"I think I'll call you Zack." He said, plucking the chocobo off his leg and rising to his feet.

He carefully placed the small bird down, his eyes moving to scan the birds. There was a moment of silence. The birds looking up at Cloud, Cloud looking down at them. Then all hell broke lose. All at once all of the chocobos began to squawk uncontrollably,

Cloud rolled his eyes. Great, bird Zack had turned them all against him.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what you want." Cloud addressed the assembled.

One of the chocobo's ceased it's squawking, cocking its head to the side. It slowly waddled its way through the numbers of Chiclets and moved away. It turned its head back to Cloud and gave him a small squeak.

"You want me to follow?" Cloud asked taking a step in the direction of the non conformist.

The chocobo squeaked again, waddling towards the back of the shack. Cloud followed slowly aware of the other nineteen chocobos following behind him, all still jabbering loudly. The chocobo stopped before the well and squeaked at it. This succeeded in silencing the other birds although Cloud did not understand why. The birds seemed to be eyeing the lone chocobo by the well in what appeared to be awe.

"You need water?" Cloud asked slowly.

The chocobo squeak desperately.

"Okay."

Cloud moved forward to the old rusted blue well pump.

"Um."

He eyed it for a moment before pumping. The Zack chocobo had mover forward to the well, standing in front of the troft the gathered the water. Its eyes were closed and it mouth open, apparently anticipating the water. Cloud contemplated moving the bird so it would not be crashed by the water, but then decided that he didn't really care. Suddenly the water gushed forth, knocking down bird Zack. All of the baby chocobo's rushed forward, eagerly lapping up the water.

Cloud smiled watching the birds drink.

"Well, at least I got something accomplished." He mumbled.

He turned and headed back to his previous spot in the sand. God forbid a wayward weed attack.

He closed his eyes leaning his head forward, elbows resting on his knees. The sound of cooing reached his ears. He opened his eyes slowly. He was once again surrounded by chocobos all of them nestled up against him cooing uncontrollably. All save Zack bird. He was dripping wet, eagerly attacking Cloud's sock.

Cloud shook his ankle dislodging before returning his attention to his adoring public. The chocobo that had led him to the well was sitting on his knee cap, cooing contently. Cloud reached out a hand and stroked it gently.

"I think I'll call you Jerry."

The chocobo squeaked excitedly before jumping onto his shoulder and nuzzling his neck. All of the other chocobos had stopped there cooing and were looking up at him expectantly.

"Um." Cloud said slowly.

Oh hell, now he had to name all of them.

Zack tore off through the desert in his standard SOLDIER issue wrangler. He had felt bad about leaving Cloud behind all by himself but he had needed his car. He had a date with Aerith this weekend. Zack smiled. Cloud was going to kill him if he found out he was ditched for Aerith. It was best if the blonde cadet never found out. He squinted his eyes behind his sun glasses he could see the shed, but no Cloud. Zack frowned. Had something happened to cause the boy to leave his post?

He slowed the car to a stop a good distance away. If something was up he didn't want to alert any one. He got out of the car strapping his sword to his back. He quickly ran over to the shed, glancing through a hole to look with in. empty. Zack opened his mouth to shout for his friend when Cloud's voice reached his ears.

"And you can be Samantha."

Zack raised an eyebrow.

"Samantha" he mouthed.

"And you can be …a hell…um…Philip! Haven't used that one yet."

Zack stood still listening to his friend ramble.

"And you can be um…let's see….yep girl…um…how about Amber. Aww thank you Amber!"

Zack blinked. Yep, it was official. The boy had lost it. Why did he leave the boy lone? He should have argued with the general to let him bring Cloud along. Now the boy was insane. Zack slowly moved around the shack his eyes not making a sound. There sitting against the back of the hut huddled in the only sliver of shadow sat cloud…covered in chocobos.

Zack blinked. The chocobo who he assumed was Amber was nestled atop Clouds Spike's cooing happily, her little feet dangling onto Cloud's forehead.

Cloud picked up the next chocobo unaware he was being watched.

"And you will be." Cloud though for a moment gazing at the chocobo as if expecting a name to jump forth. "Um, Simon."

Zack stared for a moment. Cloud was naming chocobos? Zack eyed the chocobos. How had the boy amassed a small army of chocobos?

"Cloud, God of the chocobos!" Zack declared loudly.

This had the desired effect. Cloud jumped dislodging chocobos. Amber was saved by Cloud's hand grabbing her before she fell. He quickly placed her down and tended to the others while Amber ran at Zack's ankles giving them a sharp nip.

"Hey." Zack laughed picking up Amber and placing her back upon Cloud's head.

This seemed to calm the bird.

Cloud quickly glanced up at Zack.

"What are you doing here?" Cloud asked in confusion.

All of the chocobo tilted their head in silent inquiry.

Zack fought hard not to laugh.

"Well I thought you would get bored so I though I'd come pick you up and we'd head back to base."

Cloud narrowed his eyes.

"What about the shack?"

Zack turned to eye it.

"Well." He said thoughtfully. "If it is destroyed I think we can rebuild it."

Zack rapped his knuckled against the back wall. At first nothing happened and Zack smiled down at his friend happily. Then there was a loud creaking. The building collapsed in a small pile of dust and sand. Leaving Zack standing, smile still in place. Slowly the SOLDIER turned his head to eye the wreckage. Amber squeaked reproachfully.

"Um." Cloud said slowly.

Zack turned back to Cloud smile still in place.

"Shall we go?" He asked cheerfully.

Cloud nodded. He slowly stood up pulling Amber off his head and placing her carefully in his shirt for safe keeping.

"What are we going to do with them?" Cloud asked pointing to his entourage.

Zack shrugged.

"Bring them with."

Cloud waited patiently by what had once been his shack while Zack pulled the car up.

"Alright." Zack said jumping off the back of the car.

"You can load them all in here."

Cloud kneeled down and patiently placed chocobo's in the car one by one. Zack giggled, moving to help his friend.

"I'm telling Tifa."

Cloud sent his friend a glare.

Zack picked up a chocobo eyeing it wearily.

"It's wet." He muttered.

"Be careful, he's annoying." Cloud warned. He plucked up Jerry and placed him gently within his jacket.

Zack looked down at the chocobo in his hands. The birds stared up at him, its blue eyes wide, a look of sheer love and admiration brimming in its orbs. Zack shrugged and looked back at Cloud.

"I think he's cute."

The chocobo in his hand squeaked happily giving his finger a loving nimble.

Cloud closed the back door of the rambler and turned to face his friend. The taller man was now cooing at the bird in his hands. Cloud glanced down at Amber who appeared to be watching the Zack's with hesitation. Cloud looked back at his friend.

"Good. I named him Zack."

With that Cloud turned and opened that passenger door getting into his seat.

Zack looked down at the bird in his hand.

"Zack huh?"

The chocobo tilted its head giving a small peep in response.

"Lil' Zack!" Zack said excitedly in his best baby voice.

The chocobo squeak happily shifting its body in Zack's hands to dance around. Zack giggled and walked over to the car.

Cloud and Amber watched impassively as the grown man giggled with his dancing bird. Little did they know all of the other chocobo's had also taken an interest and were lined up behind Cloud to watch the strange man.

Zack carefully lowered lil'Zack into a cup holder.

"You'll be safe there." He promised.

He raised his head to see his audience. His smile grew wider.

Cloud frowned.

"Now Aerith can carry a lil'Zack with her everywhere."

He turned the car on, his gaze trained out the windshield.

"Now all I need is a little Aerith to take with me on missions."

Despite himself Cloud had a mental image of a chocobo wearing a small pink dress sitting nest to a basket of flowers. Cloud quickly shook his head.

"Idiot." He muttered.

And thus ends the first reading of God of the Chocobos.


End file.
